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Cannibal Cop | Soft Focus with Jena Friedman | Adult Swim

Cannibal Cop | Soft Focus with Jena Friedman | Adult Swim

♪♪ Friedman:
In 2013, New York was gripped
by the case of the Cannibal Cop, an NYPD police officer
who plotted to eat his wife and her friends online,
with harmless quotes like… He has since served time
in prison, and he’s even written a book
about his experience. Here to talk about it, the
Cannibal Cop himself, Gil Valle. I read your book on tape.
It’s completely absorbing. Mm-hmm. What inspired you
to write it? I just felt that the true story
hadn’t been out there, and I felt that
I owed it to myself and the people who supported me
to get that out there. What is the story
that’s out there? Well, that there was this NYPD
cop who was plotting to kidnap and cook women. This really horrifying story
with gruesome details. But that’s not you. No, that’s not me at all. I’m not this lunatic.
I’m not this homicidal maniac. You know, I’m actually
a very normal, nice guy. I’m very go-with-the-flow. Boring, basic. Well, I wouldn’t say boring,
but just — Oh, I’m sorry. No, just —
just humble and, yeah. Kind of just random,
a basic guy. Yes. You were plotting to eat women
on a website for fun. Mm-hmm. Your wife had suspicions. She put spyware
on the computer, caught you,
calls the FBI, they arrest you,
you go to jail. What advice would you
give someone who was busted by their wife for plotting to eat her
and her friends on a dark-fetish website? I don’t know how many people
have actually been in that situation. How do you distinguish
between somebody plotting to cook people
for fun and someone plotting to
cook people for business? What distinguishes
a fantasy plot from a real plot are real-life actions. And there was
only one instance where you… where you plotted to
meet someone, and you did. Right,
the female in Maryland. Yeah.
Do you guys still keep in touch? No, I haven’t spoken to her. You’re never gonna eat women? Never gonna eat women.
It was all a fictional fantasy. I would never dream
of doing anything without anybody’s consent. Well, you could dream it,
but that’s not a crime. It’s — Sometimes I sit
and I think and… It’s like, why me? I’ve been such a — just a quiet
person my whole life, just — Because you plotted
to eat women on a website and your wife found out
and told the FBI and you used NYPD software
to stalk one of them, and, you know. You make it so clear. But also, you know,
we’ve all done stuff. If you read my texts
to my ex, you’d probably
feel bad for me. Are you dating again? I’ve dated, yeah. That’s been something
that hasn’t been completely shut down. Are you
exclusively dating women who know about your history
as Cannibal Cop? I think that’s
the best course of action. How would you tell somebody
that you are the Cannibal Cop? [ Exhales slowly ] Do you want to practice? Hi, my name’s Amy. Would you like
to go out with me? I’d love to go out with you.
Sure. Anything you want to
tell me? I was on the Internet writing these
fictional stories, these very violent stories
about cooking women, and I was arrested
by the FBI. I was arrested by the FBI,
as well. Really? For plotting
to cook men. Well, then, it sounds like
we’re a good match. Would you ever
be on a dating show? I mean, I wouldn’t
say no to that. Well, today is
your lucky day because you are on
“Meet Your Match”! ♪♪ Let’s meet
our bachelorettes. Alice. Alice loves art and enjoys designing costumes
for Burning Man. Claiborne. She’s a cocktail waitress who
believes in love at first sight. And finally,
we have Azusa. She’s a singer and actor
with a BS in criminal justice. I can relate to that. It’s not your turn to talk. Okay, Alice,
what’s your question for Gil? Gil, would you describe yourself
as conservative in the bedroom or willing to try new things? Definitely willing
to try new things. Claiborne, ask away. Claiborne: Gil, what’s more
important in a relationship — trust or lust? Trust. Every time.
Absolutely. It’s important
to be open and honest, and that was my mistake
in my marriage. Shh.
Don’t talk about your exes. Okay. Azusa. Azusa: Okay, I’ve never been
in a long-term relationship because I tend to get
a little bored. How would you
keep things spicy? I’d ask you want you want to do,
and I’d be down for trying it. Great.
Like anal. Sure. I’m gonna say it one more time
just so we have it for coverage. Like anal. Like anal. One more time.
Sorry. Like anal. No, that was fake. Like anal. Like anal… Great, we got it.
Okay. …bondage,
whatever you’d want to try. We got it. Okay. [ Cheers and applause ] Now it’s time for Gil to get
to know the bachelorettes. Alice, where do you live? I live
in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. Okay. Claiborne,
where do you live? I live in the East Village
of Manhattan. Azusa, where do you live? Washington Heights, babe. Alice, how fast
do you run? Ooh, I am not
the most skilled runner. I could probably do a mile
in an average amount of time. Okay, Claiborne,
how fast do you run? Maybe like a 7.58 mile? Azusa,
how fast do you run? As quick
as Uber can take me. Now for
the final round. A man who plots to eat his wife
on a dark-fetish website but never
actually does it. Guilty or not guilty? Alice. Not guilty? Claiborne. I’d have to
say guilty. Azusa. Guilty. Friedman: Gil, it’s time
to make your choice. The choice for me
would have to be Alice. Just because she said
“not guilty.” Great!
Alice, come on over! [ Cheers and applause ] Take a seat,
Alice. Hi. Hello. I’m sure you two
have a lot to catch up on. But first, Gil… Mm-hmm? …has something
to tell you. Are you familiar with the case
of the NYPD officer who was plotting to kidnap,
cook, and eat women? I am not actually familiar
with this case. Uh, that was me. The feds arrested me in 2012
for a heinous plot, but it was all fiction,
it was fantasy. I’ve been acquitted. That chapter of my life
is gone. So you guys look like
you’re really hitting it off. Since you’ve been
such good sports, we are treating the two of you
to a sports massage! [ Cheers and applause ] I could use a massage. [ Both laugh ] Definitely. This is not a bad
first date, right? No, this is a very
interesting first date. Yes, for sure. ♪♪ ♪♪ So, um, this was
the first book I ever wrote. Awesome.

100 thoughts on “Cannibal Cop | Soft Focus with Jena Friedman | Adult Swim”

  1. I'm in a happy relationship and cannibalism disgusts me. But I consider cooking and eating my girlfriend just so I'm free to marry Jena Friedman.

  2. the first time i saw this was last february and i came downstairs in the beach house i was renting high asf on mushrooms, among other things, to get a drink and the tv had been left on and THIS fucking skit was playing, but I didn’t know the channel/context/anything.. thought it was real and could not stop laughing or telling my tripping partner about it for hours.. still talk about it to this day.. so thank you Adult Swim.. thank you

    – Freak Boi

  3. oh come-on Jena, The joke that was missed for the title of the show; it should have been spelled "MEAT your match" not MEET. BTW This is my new favorite show!

  4. I dunno, it doesnt seem to make sense that the guy actually was plotting eat his wife, it seems like he was just blowing off steam.. but whatever.

  5. The sad thing they wont expose….there was a network involved but this cop takes the fake wrap. They want us to forget about pizzagate so they do pieces busting individual people so we will think they are on the case. This dudes a actor.

  6. Just discovered this. Watched the John Mcafee one, and this one, and now I'm totally sold. It's brilliantly offbeat, Friedman is pitch-perfect. We had something vaguely similar to this here in the UK called 'Brass Eye'. It mixed comedic actors with unsuspecting celebrities/public figures, and caused all manner of shit when it came out. It's 20+ years old now, but is still one of the most game-changing shows ever.

  7. So this showed up in my recommended after watching a video of Jimmy Fallon playing that truth or lie game with John Mulaney who said he was neighbors with the cannibal cop. YouTube understands the dialogue in the videos?

  8. 3:07 After asking if he’s dating again and he answers yes she pauses for a quick second and crosses her legs. Coincidence or genius satirical comedy?!

  9. Anyone else notice how he asked all the girls were they lived and how fast they could run? He’s plotting again! Cannibal Cop is hungry!

  10. You may have heard some bizarre things about me like I wanted to make soccer balls out of human scalps and I wrote in vivid detail about how I wanted to do so on a dark web site and I was maybe indicted on wanting to follow through on that… well anyways I wrote a fictional…,transgressive fictional story about a guy making soccer out of human scalps.

  11. He put a dating post on matchmaker dot com. One of his favorite activities cooking. They took it down.Guy is creepy af. Poor batchlorette #3 I don’t think he liked dark meat according to the documentary.

  12. That's a good point tho, if women wrote stories about cooking and eating men, they'd never get caught

  13. This man starts off complimenting himself a lot to dismiss verbally the implications of the situation he …was in. This is not a good sign, everything big or small is fantasy until it is not. Simarily as reality is not true or is distorted as what we want to see, except when we cannot ignore or someone forces us to look at instead of glossing over it as we may normally do. Reality in the sense of the most basic and uniform aspects of our shared experience in a certain place, time and context. He needs to want to seek help instead of making excuses. The better parts of you existing don't seem to stop you from enjoying the thought of harming others. We all have some baggage or messed up mental infrastructure but some are more rapidly destructive, some are more visible, others create more collateral damage but none benefit anyone to be left untouched.

  14. After the first date the cannibal cop took her back to his place needless to say that was the last time anyone heard from her again.

  15. He must have gotten paid quite a bit for this.

    He clearly has no remorse. He actually laughed about his crimes while recalling them.

  16. So there's websites like that? That is so fucked. I want out of this psychopathic, war machine. The woman is hilarious and dead on.

  17. he did act . he did use his Cop data .. he did publicly comment about a real woman and what he would do to her… this is how it all starts .. he wasnt " caught" we will see him again in much darker ways in the media ..

  18. This is actually an epidemic within the nypd.bunch of ass eating inbreds in the department

  19. It feels like a The Onion satire… but no, it is real .
    I think her mission is to find real stories that are so fucking absurd that leads us to question if we are living in a freaking simulation.

  20. Cannot believe I am just seeing these today ….. Well, will be binging ALL of these today . UNREAL TALENT and SKILL with interviewing people that are damn near impossible to interview without bias… MAD RESPECT for her skill to disarm these people to answer honestly with things are NEVER honest about .

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