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7 Types Of Road Cyclists We All Know

7 Types Of Road Cyclists We All Know

– We cyclists are a funny old breed. – We are. What type of rider are you? You might recognise
some of those coming up. – [Simon] Nothing is ever
quite right for The Moaner. – Knock it off a bit, mate,
you’re going too fast. – Sorry, man. – Come on, a little
bit faster, bit faster. It’s too cold today. Wasn’t supposed to be
like this in the forecast. It’s too hot to ride your bike today. I have a cold or something. Legs are hurting, arms
are hurting as well. Bum is really hurting on this saddle. I think I’m over-trained. Just been pushing it
a little bit too much. – Would you just stop moaning? Argh! – Absolutely hate people
that shout. Shouter. – [Simon] Are you that
person who sticks the wheel on whatever the ride? Long, short, hilly, even a
recovery ride to the cafe? Well, if this is you, you need to have a long, hard look at yourself. It is not big, and it’s not clever. Pick on another half-wheeler,
and not the rest of us. – I’ve been to see them five,
maybe even six times now. I went to their first-ever
gig down in Brighton, before they made it,
before they got really pop- – Sorry, hang on a minute, mate. I’m just gonna have to stop you there. There’s a segment coming up in 25 metres. I really, I want to have a pop it, mate. – [Dan] The acquisition,
almost at all costs of personal bests, QOMs or KOMs, is of absolute paramount
importance to the Strava Hunter. It is quite annoying, though, when they decide to do
this on group rides. But rather than getting annoyed, why not offer them a suggestion? A reminder that out there, somewhere, are things called races,
things where you race against other people at the
same time on the same road to actually see who is best. – Well, you did it. – No, I didn’t get it. I missed it. – Let’s just carry on the ride, shall we? – No. No, I need to get
back down and do it again, I didn’t quite-
– We’re not doing it again. – I didn’t get my pacing right. – I’m going to meet the
others at the cafe at the top, be sociable. – Not angry man, you just
lead me out. Come on. Is this serious, mate? This is a KOM! – Not leading you out. It’s a group ride. – There’s no such thing as a group ride. – [Simon] There is a rather
fascinating breed of rider, the type who is always a trier, spending way too much time
on the front, in the wind. Perhaps trying to impress their mates or maybe just they like the
sweet feeling of suffering. They will ride to absolute exhaustion and will never, ever ask for help, even when they are left behind,
reduced to walking pace, they are still proud. That, my friends, is a true Pull Hog. – Honestly, mate, can I help out there? – (panting) I’m all right, mate. I’m fine. – Just sit on the front for a little bit? Just, you know, so it’s not cold. – (panting) Stay there. – I’m really sorry, mate, I’m gonna, I’m getting text messages. You gonna be all right? – (panting) Yeah. – [Dan] You know the ones. Whatever time you arrange,
they are simply always late. Most likely, they just slept
in, but they insist on giving the most ridiculous, elaborate excuses. – Alright, mate. – How come you are coming from that way? – Well, I got here a
little bit early this time, so I thought I didn’t want to wait, so I started a loop. – Unbelievable. I’ve waited every day for the
last eight months for you. – Well, I appreciate that. I do. And I’d never take
it for granted then. – [Simon] The scourge of the group ride. This type of rider perhaps has the motto of “Never be prepared.” Wait, why would you need to be prepared? You’re mates, they’ve always
got your back, haven’t they? They’ll always help you out. That, or you’re just a
little bit rubbish at life. – Dan, I’m sorry to ask, mate, but you don’t happen to
have a mini-pump on you? You haven’t got any food, have you? I’m quite peckish and I
forgot that as well, actually. Well, you’ve got money. Can I- – Go (bleep) buy something. – [Simon] This breed of
rider will most commonly be seen skulking at the back of the group, ducking and diving,
keeping out of the wind, saving their precious energy. Whatever you do, don’t
expect a turn on the front from the Sit On Sprinter. Just expect a whoosh when
they light up the afterburners for a town-sized sprint and a ridiculously disproportionate
celebration when they win. – We all know at least one
of those types of riders, and in fact, below this
video, we have got a link to each and every type of
rider, so if you’ve got a mate who fits that description,
send them the link over now. What type of rider are
you, incidentally, Si? – I think I’m probably
a combination, actually. – I’d agree. – I can tell you that I’m
definitely not a moaner, and I don’t sit on because I can’t sprint, but I’m always late, rarely prepared, I quite like to half-wheel,
definitely a fan of the odd KOM, so, yeah, I’m probably a bit
of a nightmare to ride with, actually, am I? – Ironically, I do moan a fair bit, and although I’m not a
sprinter, I still sit on, ’cause I like to save a bit of energy. In all seriousness, though,
I think, I don’t know, I think I’m the type of rider
that wasn’t in this video, I’m the sort of person
that still feels quite fit, but instantly upper climb
realise I’ve set out too hard and I’m not as fit as I used to be. – I think it’s got something
to do with nostalgia, Dan, because also, most of your
stories tend to start with, “This one time, on the Seville Test Team, “it was really funny.” – Okay, I’m a nostalgic rider. – That’s right, there we go then. Ah, right, now if you want
to watch another video, whilst I listen to another of Dan’s Seville Test Team stories, then why not check out this one, where you may indeed
recognise yourself again and some of your friends, it’s the Top Ten Climbing Excuses. So now go on, put a good one. Right, coming down, what’s next
from the Seville Test Team? – Well, this descent
actually is very similar to one from the gyro back in 2010.

100 thoughts on “7 Types Of Road Cyclists We All Know”

  1. commute cycling is NOT a means of transportation, it is RACE!!!
    cycling with friends is NOT a means of fun, it is a RACE!!

    if you dont race me when I cycle, you will lose the race.


    People that ignore this, say "oh i dont care" or whatever, are LOSERS!

  2. I ride by myself 99% of the time because I like going at my own pace and hate talking while I work out of any kind… But I am def a strava hunter lol that app really pushes me to beat my own records as well as others

  3. I love going for Strava Segments. Makes solo riding (the only riding I do) a lot more fun/intense. Gives you something to work for and be proud of when you do place up top.

  4. LOL this vid is recorder on Grancanaria… I'm currently on vacation in Grancanaria and I did some cycling on Grancanaria… ;P

  5. I'm the sit on sprinter in a way only when I'm tired because I have single speed jump bike and I just have explosive wheelie and I don't really bring food because I'm usually in the same area so that's why I'm mostly the last one

  6. Dear GCN: For the time being, we shall entirely ignore the part of the story where the spandex makes oneself look like a big dumb sponsored spermatozoa. What's really at stake here is the the lack of discussion on Thomson seat posts, messenger bags, and an inexplicable Red Fang / Paul Bunyan beard if you're one of those ding dings commuting in Portland. Also, who the fuck wants to ride 35 miles on the side of the highway when some troglodyte in an F-350 is invariably going to sucker-punch you in the back of the head with his double-wide rearview mirrors? When it comes to your road bike, wear crappy jeans and Vans like a normal human being, you bunch of leg-shavin' non-good-beer-taste-havin ass fluorescent mooks. Brb gonna go run some red lights and overtake motorists preoccupied with their interesting telephones. Stay tuned

  7. take those tights off you look like a knob. Take a hint from the mountain bike network and wear something that doesn't show your bulge or your non-existant guns.

  8. The swerver, one who always swings their bike from side to side on climbs and end of race sprints clearing a nice circle. This person does not have any spatial awareness and is quite amusing to ride with, if a little dangerous

  9. 1. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    2. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    3. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    4. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    5. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    6. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    7. The kind that dont gtf out the way.
    (Of cars)

  10. 7 Types of Road Cyclists:

    Decent chap or lady who abides by the highway code at all times
    Semi decent chap or lady who nearly always abide by the highway code unless of course they are in a hurry
    Bit of a twat chap or lady who use the highway code to abuse people when they have run them over on the footpath
    Right twat of a chap or lady who can't ride a bike for love nor money but the bandwagon was too big too miss
    Right twat of a chap or a lady who couldn't give a fuck one way or the other becuase they own the fucking road and there are no such things as traffic lights
    Lots of fucking chaps or ladies because they are part of a cycling club means that they can ride 6 abreast at any time of the fucking day or night thus holding up all traffic even though it's illegal
    Any fucking twat in lycra going 6 mile an hour and wobbling all over the place who will take their £1200 bike back to the shop next morning and say it's shite and can they have their money back

    Slightly tongue in cheek so don't shoot me or slap my wing mirror when you go through a gap that wasn't there in the first place because the lane you were in was left turn only but the rules of the road don't apply to you.

    Love you all – be safe and be careful

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  12. You forgot the Cargo Carrier: the guy who carries a lot of things in his bike. Equipped with a lot of bags (handlebar, top tube, saddle, frame etc) and a pannier rack (with pannier bags is optional) filled with plenty of stuff that puts a travelling merchant to shame. Weighed down heavily; usually the slowest of the group. Nevertheless, a rather convenient member in a long ride, as he carries important things needed in a pinch (flats and punctures, feeling hungry or thirsty etc.)

  13. you missed one. the twat experienced cyclist who hangs out with novices to just shout out advice in a belittling manner

  14. How about the one that grabs the back of your shirt and has you pull them. Even use you for a boost grabbing your shirt and pulling ahead of you which pushes you back. Lol.

  15. the acting is pretty good I will admit. Please forgive the moaning but I do not understand the Half Wheeler description: "Are you that person that sticks the wheel on whatever the ride?" From that description, I do not know what a half wheeler is? Can you say what it is or show what it is? What is the effect of half wheeling and why is it done?

  16. Or how about that older cousin who is faster than you so when you pull up front he feels guilty because I’m working so he pulls ahead

  17. I would probably be the wheelsucking sprinter

    Draft behind everyone for most of the ride to conserve energy, and then light the afterburner on the last hundred metres or so and claim victory

    Trolling to the max

  18. There’s two types the good humans who stay off the road and the complete and utter cu#£s that ride on the road that deserve to be in a wheel chair

  19. The rides on footpaths
    The jumps lights
    The screams at cars/pedestrians
    The sneaks up on walkers then shouts "get out the way"….
    The buzzes horses…
    The cuts up paths to make them impassable….


  20. Great banter between you two. I don't know which one I am yet – not exactly a moaner…perhaps you need a name for the "Can't keep up – go on without me" rider.

  21. "You wouldnt happen to have a mini pump would you"? "Oh you wouldnt happen to have any food on you i forgot that too"? "Owwwww you got money"!!! (Throws wallet down) "go f*ckin buy something would you" hahahahahahahahahaha ?????

  22. ?Lmbo… I’ll bolt on someone mid conversation and yell back “sorrryyyy!!!!” I’m definitely a Strava hunter. That’s exactly how it goes down.

  23. 1 the sworks asshole
    2 the no talker
    3 the veteran
    4 the talker
    5 the hillclimber
    6 the oldskool
    7 the bike expert

  24. I'll be glad when the matte black fad is finally over, I remember in the 80's and 90's when bikes used to be gorgeous with multi color gloss paint jobs, now they all look like the owner spray painted them in their garage, and did I mention that everyone's bike looks the EXACT same as everyone else's now?

  25. What about “The Coach”? The guy who is constantly giving unsolicited advice and training tips? I’ve ridden with LOTS of these guys! Lol!

  26. I'm a sit on sprinter for sure. I ride behind my friends, mostly for safety reasons, traffic and all, but I love to hammer down when we are within eyesight of the destination. Just to show them who's boss.

  27. What about the "Posh Vintage", scoffing at riders with the newest bikes as you pass by on old aluminium/steel!

  28. My type is: Loner and Dreamer. 😀 Loner because I prefer to ride alone so I´m not pushed or riddiculed. Dreamer because I´m fat, seasonal cyclist and dreams about pro cycling. 😀 😀

  29. Only about 5% of the time on my bike is with mates, nearly 6,000 km a year of thinking and solitude #TheLoner

  30. I consider myself to be of the variety "how the hell did I get here I take the long way to avoid the one climb on my way to work on a bike because I hate it so much". Props to you people doing this for fun, I'll take sore, blistery feet and a heavy backpack over torturing myself on a bike. To each their own kind of fun torture.

  31. I think I'm an half wheeler, I'm definitely a Strava hunter, a 'never on timer', and a sprinter but not a sitter.

  32. hmmm I'm just a newbie but i really like your bikee!! And i have a gcn jersey HAHA I will always watch your video!!

  33. Wow, I've been ALL of these (except the pull hog)

    And it's only two weeks since I started road biking as a new
    Hobby. Progressive learning curve I'd say

  34. The Demon Dismounter! Some fool who'll ride on the front of the group knowing full well they're going to dismount right in front of you with no warning when the road gets super steep! Happened to me once on The Wash in Derbyshire.

  35. People i ride together are 80-85kg rouleur type riders and i ,as a 64 kg climber, like to stay on the back and go fast in climbs. They think i am a "Strava Hunter" but actually climbing is what i enjoy and can do well without pushing hard so even though i can never be close to getting even top 10 of a segment i ride fast in climbs. So i tell them "I don't climb fast to get a kom; i climb fast to enjoy, koms come automatically."

  36. I'm a sleeper: I have no cycling kit, I use flat pedals and wear regular clothing big backpack and sneak in a cycling group/club and follow them around. I have good cycling skill just not serious on the equipment. To sum it up, a person that doesn't have an appearance of a cyclist but actually pump up crazy watts.

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